Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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