It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
