Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
