Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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