We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
