i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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