i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
