I think I died a long time ago.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
