Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
