so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
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You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm having to shit out rocks
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