someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize