Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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