Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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