He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
