soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
