I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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