oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
