Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if only i could text you this smell
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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