Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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