Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i drank out of a bidet.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
