i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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