I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
