What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
