Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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