bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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