Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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