my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
