Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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