Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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