They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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