today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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