that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
