honey bunches of taint.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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