Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
