I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
