I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
