I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
