Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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