My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize