i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
