If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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