you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
