and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
