New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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