are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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