Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
