We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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