I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
