She bit a glass in half.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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