wanna go halves on a baby?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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