Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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