i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
