Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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