i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
