So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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