we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
